there are some things in life that i'll always be hunting answers for but i know i can never find them. for the angels who hold the key to them will probably only be able to reveal them to me upon my death. alas, then, it'll be too late, i suppose.

i shall torture myself for the next 2 nights, just so that i can enjoy the mornings once more.

have humans became so smug and complacent with their place on this planet? this Earth can die and will die if we continue to err in our ways. i don't want to have kids even more now. what's the point of having any when the Earth is going to perish anyway? at the rate at how we, the biggest bully in the entire eco-system, are going, why not just shoot every animal, including ourselves, at sight since we obviously don't give a fuck about anything else anymore.

i am upset, to say the least.

i'm totally disgusted.

no wonder i never liked humans.

maybe it's me. my words. yet the depressing effect of it does get to me at times and i lament over it. am i truly incapable of feeling contentment? am i truly incapable of feeling happiness? why, then, am i left with the feeling of inadequacy?

when i finally got hold of him again, i told him that there's no need to inform me of such things cos every time he mentioned similar news conveyed by a particular individual, i'll see that that's not true.

when i went back this time round, i couldn't help but feel a tinge of sadness, as i witnessed the changes before my eyes.

5 years ago, my little sister was still of a single digit age but now, she's growing into a teenager.

5 years ago, my little brother was still wearing shorts but now, he's wearing a uniform.

5 years ago, my not-so-little sister was still a single but now, she's becoming a mother.

5 years ago, my dear ol' buddy was still around to bring me to prata shops but now, he's watching over me in heaven.

5 years ago, my friends were all a little more carefree and youthful but now, they are all beginning to be tied down by the various commitments that they have entered to into their lives.

5 years ago, my parents were still the parents i always knew but now, their child-likeness are subconsciously revealed to the world.

5 years ago, i was dead set against any other man but you but now, i've another who's more precious to my heart than ever.

5 years ago, i would never have thought that i would consider signing that legal contract but now, plans have been made.

5 years ago, you were not a part of my life but now, for many 5 years to come, you'll be a part of my life.

mistakes were made in my other relationships.

poor choices, ridiculous selfish-ness, etc.

but NEVER have i slept with a former partner's brother.

there's a line to be drawn; a very thick black line to be drawn.

certain limits are never meant to be crossed.

not even in the current despondent century that we're in.

the code of every brotherhood should still stand strong.

yet, some shameless individuals will still step forth,

without respect and without a care.

their selfish-ness cannot be challenged; it's all about them.

and the brothers fall prey to these black widows.

still, i wonder, if it is just the individual or both,

that failed to understand the concept of brotherhood.

cos in every sexual relations, a dick and a vagina are required.

you can't screw one without the other.