walking contradiction

25 years old.
a girl of irony.
studying in university of new south wales - ba/llb.
living and let live.
truly blessed by His and his love.

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benje. carol. crystal. daniel ho. davina. doreen. evelyn. ingrid. iniQx. jac. jess. julian. karen. kimberly. leon. li en. mabel. melissa. nick. shirley. stefan. xiaowei. yee huat. yusuf. zhong ying.


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. feelings and thoughts .

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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Will you come stay with me?
Don't wanna let you go.
Don't wanna say goodbye.
If silence is the way to go,
Then let silence be my voice.

Is only one heart beating?
Two individuals alone.
Played around by TWOs.
If I'm the only one played,
Then let me play it through.

Will you put that ring on me?
Can't see anyone but you.
Can't see past this love.
If dreaming will bring me to you,
Then let dreams be my reality.

hearts 16:14:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, June 26, 2005







Your Fashion Style is Girly


You dress to look beautiful and show off what you've got

Dresses, skirts, heels... whatever it takes to turn heads

You love feeling like a girl in any setting

Even your workout clothes are cute and feminine!


What's Your Fashion Style?











You Are a Soft Kisser


Your kissing style is understated, but effective

You give soft, sweet, and soulful kisses to your special guy

And that's the key: he's got to be special to get your kiss

Because you don't just go around kissing anyone


What's Your Kissing Style?











Men See You As Choosy


Men notice you light years before you notice them
You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky
You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter
It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

How Do Men See You?











Your Passion is Red!


You've got that spark - a good dose of intensity, power, and determination.
You do whatever you want in life ... to hell with what anyone thinks!
With so many interests and loves, you're always running around doing something new.
You have fire in your eyes, and it shows. Bet you're even wearing something red!




What Color is Your Passion?













Your Inner Eye Color Is Green


You're off-scale unique and creative - just like green eyes

You're peaceful, relaxed, and easy to be around

You've got an exotic flair that draws men in... with unique beauty.



What's Your Inner Eye Color?


hearts 05:25:00
0 spoken words


The past, the present, the future.
If I could, I would
But I'm afraid.
Playing catching all day long.
But will you do the same for me?

hearts 05:19:00
0 spoken words

Thursday, June 23, 2005

I remember a wise man once said to me after our break up,

"If you don't love yourself, no one else will love you."

I finally understood what he meant when he said those words. And now, I just hope he knows how important he is to me.

Just let the number '2' play us around.
2 years of friendship,
Followed by 2 years of love,
Followed by 2 years of estrangement,
And we're back to where we started again.

What do you say?

hearts 20:29:00
0 spoken words

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Everything is pointing to only one path. I am not going to fight it. I'm just going to go with the flow. Just like how everything has been.

Maybe, just maybe, my premonition will come true.
Maybe, just maybe, all my wishes and dreams will remain as just wishes and dreams.
Maybe, just maybe, I should just let it all go.

I made a date with the Maker today.

He seems to beckon me to go forth soon.

Maybe, just maybe, all of these should just be what it is.

Without me.

hearts 23:23:00
0 spoken words

Saturday, June 18, 2005

If I could just walk away from everything.
If I could just take away all the unhappy memories buried deep within my mind.
If I could just isolate myself away from this world.
If I could just be happy.
If I could just meet someone who isn't just out to play me.
If I could just love and be loved.

If.

Too many ifs in life can make a person the most depressed.

If I could just learn to be content.

hearts 04:05:00
0 spoken words


I just realised Father's Day is just round the corner.

I miss Daddy so much. Does He miss me as much? I wish I can be back in His arms, sheltered from all of these yet I'm too ashame to return.

What will break me to make me finally realise that I need You more than anything else? What will rob me of my sanity?

I can take it no longer.

I miss You, Daddy.

hearts 03:20:00
0 spoken words

Friday, June 17, 2005

Lots of questions on my mind.
Unanswered by the silence.

Will they ever be answered or will they remain as it is?

hearts 01:38:00
0 spoken words

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

I never knew that a single word could make me wanna live once again.

Thank you.

hearts 00:22:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, June 12, 2005







You Are a Good Student of Men


You're pretty good at knowing what men are thinking

But you're not dead on 100% of the time

Let your guy off the hook sometimes... because you may be reading him all wrong!


How Well Do You Understand Men? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.








You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful
But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself
You're the perfect blend of independent and caring
You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.











Your Gemstone is Aquamarine


Intuitive, tranquil, and trusting.

You inspire others to have faith in themselves.


What Gemstone Are You? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.











You Belong in Paris


Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for Paris.

The art, the fashion, the wine, the men!

Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park...

You'll love living in the most chic place on earth


What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.




hearts 23:15:00
0 spoken words

Saturday, June 11, 2005





You Have Fantastic Karma







You are a kind, sensitive, and giving person.

And all your good deeds will pay off - if they haven't already.

But you're not so concerned with what you get in return anyway.

You have an innate caring nature - and nothing can change that!



How's Your Karma?

Bullshit.






You Are a Visionary Soul





You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul



What Kind of Soul Are You?

hearts 00:54:00
0 spoken words

Friday, June 10, 2005

If you only knew

The things I keep within me.
The secrets that are hidden.
The stash that contained our memories that are still accumulating.
The heart that beats for you.
The tears that rolls for you.
The ears that listens intently for your sound.
The hands that yearn for your touch.
The future that I dream.
The present that I treasure.

But plans have been set.

Will our paths cross again?

hearts 23:46:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Almost Here
- Delta Goodrem featuring Brian McFadden -

Brian:

Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Brian:

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Brian & Delta:

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, how it hurts

Brian:

Oh, haven't I always loved you?

Delta:

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Brian & Delta:

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, now it hurts

Brian:

Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:

But when I need you
You're almost here

Brian:

Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you

Delta:

And when I hold you
You're almost here

Brian:

Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

Brian & Delta:

And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears

Brian:

Cause I know I'm almost here

Brian & Delta:

Only almost here

hearts 23:13:00
0 spoken words


Today, I went to see a little prince in his very own palace. He was looking so serene in his sleep. His face wrinkling once in a while before he burst out in tears as he saw my face when he woke up from his nap. His mum began pacifying him as my friend and I continued to gaze at the little prince, wondering what made him ticked and what would pacify him.

That's little Kievan for you.


Look at the little prince sleep.


A close-up of the little prince.


He's awake! Ah! The royal wave.


Hm. This lady carrying me.. Does she know what she's doing?


Ok. At least she doesn't make me cry like the first time round.

LOL. After much deliberation around the little prince, Zhongying, Ingrid, Guoliang and I decided to begin playing mahjong. We didn't gamble cos boring li'l me do not play with money. After a while, Joey came over with her cat and took over Guoliang's spot and we continued on for a few more rounds before we stopped. It was going to be dinnertime.

The little prince had his feast and it was time for the rest of us to get ours. Before we left, we continued playing with the little prince and cajoled him many times into smiles. The royal highness has granted us many brilliant smiles today, making us grinning deep within as well. But the time comes to an end too soon and we have to bid our farewell to the little prince. As we left the palace, I smiled within.

The little prince has been pacified.

hearts 02:10:00
0 spoken words

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Been made offers of sort.

One accepted.
One being considered.

Many others are on pending.

hearts 15:18:00
0 spoken words

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Things changes.
People change.
I feel the changes.
Maybe I was wrong all along.

hearts 16:28:00
0 spoken words