walking contradiction

25 years old.
a girl of irony.
studying in university of new south wales - ba/llb.
living and let live.
truly blessed by His and his love.

Created by Wedding Favors

time constrained


another dimension



partners in crime
benje. carol. crystal. daniel ho. davina. doreen. evelyn. ingrid. iniQx. jac. jess. julian. karen. kimberly. leon. li en. mabel. melissa. nick. shirley. stefan. xiaowei. yee huat. yusuf. zhong ying.


communication channels
christian forum. keeptouch forum. heartlight. save our tree e-magazine. yesterday .sg. good morning yesterday. riverlife. 陳志明.
Listed on BlogShares
. feelings and thoughts .

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many bows
pictures: one
brushes: one two
pattern: one
designer: sweet_surrender
others: blogger blogskins


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Monday, January 30, 2006

as the old story goes,
clara's feelings never mattered.

and now, with a big smile, happy lunar new year to all.

hearts 22:38:00
0 spoken words

Thursday, January 26, 2006

glancing into the mirror,
her eyes clouded with tears.
a letter came within her sight,
written with love and in truth.

"that it makes you feel good; and
that it makes you a better person."
words of wisdom resounded,
echoing through her silent sobs.

she held her hands up in worship,
laying her burdens before Him.
her heart sang the old tune of pain
and her memories painted hurt.

this love she has to forsake now,
despite all that she has given.
her desires never mattered
as she surrenders once more again.

hearts 19:32:00
0 spoken words


thank YOU and mabel for letting me watch love concierge today.

think today's episode was one that hit home with me.

chunchun. i feel.

hearts 00:43:00
0 spoken words

Monday, January 23, 2006

i'm missing you.
dreaming bout you.

do you remember our love?
for i do...

hearts 23:52:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, January 22, 2006

stop this.
stop saying things that you know might have a negative impact on the both of you.

you know it's not his fault for what has happened.
you know he's ignorant to all that has happened.
you chose to keep this secret to yourself.
you made the choice so let it be.

don't expect him to do something about it when he knows nothing about it.
don't expect him to be aware and more appreciative when he's ignorant.

you made the choice.
the silence of it, you will bear.

let him be happy.

hearts 20:28:00
0 spoken words

Thursday, January 19, 2006

dav, this is really freakish. after we had our mini-talk on my dream. the next time i had a chance to check my mail proper, guess what i received?

2 mails highlighting the importance of faith and faithfulness.

i believe that this is Your voice.

broke down again today.
after all the rushing of assignment.
after getting myself absorbed into others' issues.
i'm at a standstill.

and i just cried.
kept thinking of you.
i can't keep this up. not now.
exams are coming. i need to focus.

focus girl, FOCUS.
i promised you that i will strive to do well.
i will keep my promise.

hearts 21:43:00
0 spoken words

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

had another dream last night.

dreamt that i was in your room and your parents were in there watching tv with me. they asked me how's the wedding preparations coming along and i replied them, "i think mervin is having 2nd thoughts about them". i heard your father mumbled, "well, both of you are still young. lemme talk to him and maybe we can delay it to a later date." so i called you and said that your father wished to speak to you and you kept insisting that i was lying, that i was trying to convince you to do something that you didn't wish, but i wasn't. i was speaking the truth. your father just looked at me and said, it's ok. i'll talk to him another time and then your parents said goodnight and left for their room. and i was still in your room, in the winnie pooh t-shirt, getting ready for bed as i await for your return.

when i woke up, i realised i didn't really see your father's face or your mother's face. i just heard a male voice and a female voice and assumed so. something in me keeps telling me that this dream means something but i do not know what as i've been praying for Daddy to speak to me somehow and last night, an anonymous quote was sent to me via email, stating - "Prayers do not fall on deaf ears."

maybe i'm really thinking too much. maybe i'm really dwelling too much in all of these. but if Lord, this is really your voice then...

if this is Your will, Lord, then let it be done.

hearts 16:32:00
0 spoken words

Thursday, January 12, 2006

i had a dream the week before i left for sydney again.
i was reminded of it last night.

i dreamt that i kept dying over and over again.
i dreamt that each time i died, i would crawl up again but i could tell i looked significantly drained.
before i woke up from my dream, my character in the dream was saying,

"i'm tired of dying."

and she was shot dead, never to awake again.

hearts 20:37:00
0 spoken words

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Never Two

you walked out -
once;
twice;
thrice.

without a -
sign;
hint;
clue.

no thoughts of -
us;
love;
me.

leave me to -
cold;
tears;
whys.

hearts 21:24:00
0 spoken words


it's only my 2nd night here.

but it's already raining like how it was 2 years ago.

a vicious cycle.

hearts 00:43:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, January 08, 2006

going back again tomorrow.
my heart is still awaiting.

you once said i was silly, ridiculous even to ask questions like "is my home waiting for me?" but when i felt how you embraced and kissed me the moment i was in front of you, i knew my answer.

you didn't make it easy for me.
i didn't make it easy for you too.

i can only silently pray that at the end of the tunnel, at the end when you've sort out your thinking, it's us you see and it's us you run to.

i'm waiting for you, my home.
waiting for you to make me you permanent resident.
for nobody else can love me like you do.

hearts 02:55:00
0 spoken words

Friday, January 06, 2006


You scored as Linguistics. You should be a Linguistics major!

Linguistics


100%

Psychology


100%

Journalism


100%

Sociology


100%

English


92%

Theater


92%

Philosophy


83%

Dance


83%

Anthropology


83%

Engineering


67%

Biology


67%

Chemistry


58%

Mathematics


58%

Art


33%

What is your Perfect Major?
created with QuizFarm.com

so what am i supposed to choose?!

hearts 04:28:00
0 spoken words

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

is there any difference between leaving tomorrow and leaving on sunday?

i don't think there is.
at least to me.

hearts 02:21:00
0 spoken words

Monday, January 02, 2006

last night, some magical words were spoken.
last night, my heart fluttered a little more.
last night, i felt all has been worthwhile.

though it's still gonna be quite a while.
though it's still gonna be a tough ride.
though it's still gonna be a pendulum swing.

i know a little perseverance is all i need.
i know a little faith is all i possess.
i know a little love is all that matters.

hearts 19:22:00
0 spoken words