walking contradiction

25 years old.
a girl of irony.
studying in university of new south wales - ba/llb.
living and let live.
truly blessed by His and his love.

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partners in crime
benje. carol. crystal. daniel ho. davina. doreen. evelyn. ingrid. iniQx. jac. jess. julian. karen. kimberly. leon. li en. mabel. melissa. nick. shirley. stefan. xiaowei. yee huat. yusuf. zhong ying.

communication channels
christian forum. keeptouch forum. heartlight. save our tree e-magazine. yesterday .sg. good morning yesterday. riverlife. 陳志明.
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. feelings and thoughts .

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many bows
pictures: one
brushes: one two
pattern: one
designer: sweet_surrender
others: blogger blogskins

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Sunday, August 28, 2005

why do we keep plunging into relationships that we know will eventually still be the same, hurting ending?
why do we keep plunging and believing individuals that we know that might not feel the same or who do not appreciate you the way he/she should?

all because of the silly flitting thing called love?

you asked me to know my place.
trust me, i already knew.
adios will soon sum it all up
and you'll never hear from me again.
i promise.

hearts 21:54:00
0 spoken words

Saturday, August 27, 2005

i never realised how happy i can get when you simply say that you can "pei" me.
i never realised how painful it'll be, trying to keep silent on my departure when you asked me when.
i never realised how much i'll be missing you and i'm feeling the pangs of it now.

please tell me you'll still love me.
please tell me you'll wait for me.
please don't let me lose you again.

but... you don't even know where your heart lies.

hearts 02:06:00
0 spoken words

Friday, August 26, 2005

i'm doing what you do best.


hearts 03:41:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, August 21, 2005

You're on your way to a better place.
You'll be with her, together, like old times.

10 years later,

Will the both of you come for me?

I miss you.

hearts 02:30:00
0 spoken words

Monday, August 15, 2005

she came for you.
you finally drew your last.
suffering's no more.

i was there through the night.
vigil - they call it.
hearing your every movements
till silence befall.

ten years later.
have you missed her much?
reunion must be sweet
after all this while.

tears were not shed.
prayers were uttered.
serene now you are.

hearts 14:42:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, August 14, 2005

they said "seek and ye shall find."

i've sought.
i've hunted.
i've looked.

i've not found.

hearts 03:04:00
0 spoken words

seeing you again just brought back memories of the past.
you were the only person i ever wondered... "what if"
to date, you're a happy man and i'm happy for you.
like you said, what a pity,
now that we've met, i'm leaving again.

but i say to you boy,
whatever happened was in the past.
you might not have known but i must now,
you were never just a passing figure.
i'm leaving again and now that i know you're happy,
i'm happy and can leave in a more peaceful state.

thank you.

hearts 01:32:00
0 spoken words

Saturday, August 13, 2005

She's handicapped.

Through the little glass window,
Confined within the four walls.
Her vision engaged deeply
Amongst the flitting, nolstagic images.

Through the little glass window,
The outsiders stared and gawk.
Gossiping amongst themselves, wondering
"What's wrong with her? Is she..."

She loved.

Through the little glass window,
Noticing the crowd that has gathered.
She withdrew into the shadows,
Mascara running, nose turning red.

Through the little glass window,
The audience thought they knew.
Interpreting her every actions in their fashion,
"She brought this upon herself."

She was handicapped by love.

hearts 16:23:00
0 spoken words

Friday, August 12, 2005

"you love a non-lover."

i hope someday, i'll be able to change it.
i hope someday, you'll be the guy who dared to love with all his heart once again.


i love you.

hearts 04:04:00
0 spoken words

Monday, August 08, 2005

as the days go by,
i realised i'm beginning to hate you more than loving you.
you just keep testing my patience every single time.

i've been sick since friday and the only thing i got from you was
"i can't call you till tomorrow."

when i told you if it's that difficult then forget it and all you said was
"it's very difficult for me, i'm sorry."

now i'm telling you this.
this is the first time a guy rendered me emotion-less in less than an hour.
i was just indifferent to all your messages.

i deleted your number.

hearts 01:05:00
0 spoken words

Saturday, August 06, 2005

i've taken a huge step today.
something that is gonna take up lotsa determination to carry it forth.

september is coming soon.
in less than two months' time, i'll be out and down under.

will you even realise i'm gone.

hearts 02:46:00
0 spoken words