walking contradiction

25 years old.
a girl of irony.
studying in university of new south wales - ba/llb.
living and let live.
truly blessed by His and his love.

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time constrained

another dimension

partners in crime
benje. carol. crystal. daniel ho. davina. doreen. evelyn. ingrid. iniQx. jac. jess. julian. karen. kimberly. leon. li en. mabel. melissa. nick. shirley. stefan. xiaowei. yee huat. yusuf. zhong ying.

communication channels
christian forum. keeptouch forum. heartlight. save our tree e-magazine. yesterday .sg. good morning yesterday. riverlife. 陳志明.
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. feelings and thoughts .

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many bows
pictures: one
brushes: one two
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designer: sweet_surrender
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

i've spoken.
i've used some extreme and mean words.
yet, i felt compelled.

i questioned the ideology behind commitment.
i questioned the ideology of love and relationships.
yet, i was no angel myself.

i was disrespectful to the other, the partner, the self and the bond.
i was never in love with the self.
yet, i advocated it so strongly to the other.

i only pray for the other's happiness.
i only pray for the other's true happiness.
yet, i questioned his/her very current state.

denying, denied or in denial?
maybe i was too harsh.
or maybe i was too high and mighty.
still, i called it as i saw it,
for, hopefully, the best of your interests.

hearts 04:22:00
0 spoken words

Monday, May 26, 2008

Your Mind is Green

Of all the mind types, yours has the most balance.

You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver.

You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don't get stuck in bad thinking patterns.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual).

What Color Is Your Mind?

You Are 60% Addicted to the Internet

You're somewhat addicted to the internet - but who isn't?

You can keep it under check, and you're by no means a hermit.

Are You Addicted to the Internet?

You Are 75% Grown Up, 25% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature.

Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

What Your Flip Flops Say About You

You are an outdoorsy person. You feel most comfortable in nature.

Beautiful scenery and good weather always brighten up your day.

Being outside allows you to feel calm and connected to the world.

Problems don't seem so big when you realize how small you are in the scheme of things.

Your ideal warm weather place: Costa Rica

The Flip Flop Test

Your Relationship Will Last... A Long Time!

Your guy is ideal, as close to Mr. Perfect as he could be

If you took this quiz, you may be doubting that...

Don't! No guy is perfect but yours comes really close

You guys will last for many years, as long as you appreciate him!

How Long Will Your Relationship With Your Guy Last?

hearts 00:49:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, May 25, 2008

singapore's politics.
where should i start then?

the other day, a friend of mine sent me a video clip on google video. it was on the state of singapore's politics. initially i was going, "hell ya!" to every single thing that the video had to say about the singapore government, the high-handed manner that the government officials used in certain instances, etc. after a while, i began to go, "omg. this is just another sad sad joke from the clown".

first of all, lemme make myself really clear. i'm not a huge fan of the PAP government; i'm a supporter of amnesty international and a strong believer in the freedom of individual human rights, especially in the form of UNHCR. at the same time,  i do not deny the works of the PAP government. they had, indeed, brought a small nation, with the only natural resource being humans, into a nation of economic viability and i think that they should bear credits for that.

yet, i'm reluctant to say that i will support the PAP in the long run. within a decade of living in the same apartment, the past elections have seen this little apartment being placed in at least 2 different GRCs. i mean, i'm staying at the same place so why is it that the GRCs are shifting during each elections? have my place been shifted without me realising it? i don't really quite get it. looking through the government's elections website yielded no results as well. could someone please enlighten me on it? then again, i looked at the other prominent opposition party and start thinking, do i really want that party running the country?

furthermore, during my course of law study here, i'm getting more convinced that singapore is not a democratic state, which is really quite sad. here i am studying about law and, hopefully, able to uphold justice for individuals, realising that i might never reach the stage of independent common law in singapore. true, singapore has a good justice system that addresses the rights and the wrongs when it came to cases that does not involve prominent figures. however, when prominent figures came into play, it just does not appear to me as a court case any more. it seems to be more of an assertion. could it be the manner in which these cases were highlighted in the media? the choice of words? i do not know.

the most disappointing factor of it all is the apathetic attitude of singaporeans towards politics. maybe it's due to the lack of awareness. maybe it's due to them not wanting to leave their comfort zone. but i'm worried. i'm worried that in the next decade, things might change drastically and they are shaken out of their comfort zone, not knowing what to do and how to go forth. are we really gonna wait for disaster to strike before becoming more political aware? yet, at the same time, i can understand why some are afraid to step out with their political opinions. to cross the line might create possible tensions within the law of singapore and human rights.

have i crossed the line here? i do not know. all i do know is this, there is a need to raise political awareness in singapore, to allow the citizens to make sound decisions. rather than going along and then cursing and swearing at certain flaws of the government, make an informed choice and be contended. that's what i wish and that's what i hope to see in singapore in years to come.

hearts 22:22:00
0 spoken words

Friday, May 23, 2008

i wanna go home.
where the warmth is.
where i know i won't curse and swear at the freaking weather.

i wanna go home.
to see the peeps i miss.
to eat the food that will bring me horizontally-challenged again.

i wanna go home.
relaxing without guilt.
relaxing and knowing that i'll have my ball of fun doing work i love.

i just wanna go home.

29 more days 13 hours and 15 minutes to go.

hearts 01:28:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, May 18, 2008

she's not too far off the edge.

and then, silence.

hearts 04:43:00
0 spoken words

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

and i'm smiling once again.

thanks to you, my love.

and when the gray hair sets in,
i know i'll still be holding on to your hands. :)

hearts 01:10:00
0 spoken words

Saturday, May 10, 2008

in the dark last night, i saw your face.
in the dark last night, i heard your voice.

in the dark last night, i questioned...
why did you leave me behind?

i know now why i get frustrated with kids.
i know now my intense desire to shake them up to adulthood.

their innocence.
their youth.

it cuts me.

hearts 15:04:00
0 spoken words