walking contradiction

25 years old.
a girl of irony.
studying in university of new south wales - ba/llb.
living and let live.
truly blessed by His and his love.

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time constrained


another dimension



partners in crime
benje. carol. crystal. daniel ho. davina. doreen. evelyn. ingrid. iniQx. jac. jess. julian. karen. kimberly. leon. li en. mabel. melissa. nick. shirley. stefan. xiaowei. yee huat. yusuf. zhong ying.


communication channels
christian forum. keeptouch forum. heartlight. save our tree e-magazine. yesterday .sg. good morning yesterday. riverlife. 陳志明.
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. feelings and thoughts .

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many bows
pictures: one
brushes: one two
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designer: sweet_surrender
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Saturday, April 24, 2010

permission has been given.
mum and aud was in sydney for the past 9 days and they just left this afternoon.
the apartment feels a little empty and i admit, i did cry.

after almost 5 years abroad, i'm seriously missing home a little more than i should.
when june/july comes around, there will be more to be discussed.
hopefully, home will come to me if i can't return, soon.

all good things must come to an end, doesn't it?

hearts 19:36:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, April 11, 2010

the other day, i started to think about what i used to do during my spare time. indulging in life's vices, moping about my life, writing poems and daydream myself away. then i realised what i truly missed. i miss writing. not just any ordinary writing. i missed writing poems on a regular basis. i miss how i will just indulge my entire being into writing that perfect poem that reflected my feelings at that very point in my life.

but this came to an end. as with all good things, it came to an abrupt end. the drama that was ever so present in my life at that point in time, which spurred my creative output, had left the building and i've been living in a relatively calm rhythm of life, rather than the constant ups and downs. and i guess like how everyone thinks the other pasture is always greener, i begin to miss my old life. the life of constantly not knowing, constantly second-guessing and constantly wondering when will i have my happily ever after. but i know i'm not happy there. i know i'm happy where i am now so why am i feeling this way?

i'm probably, actually, really addicted. for a while, i had my constant source of drama through other means but now that i'm sitting on a plateau, i'm having withdrawal symptoms. the dramas in my life were not simply there; it was there to give me my highs and my lows. some peeps do adrenalin-pumping activities; some peeps do alcohol or drugs; i do drama. will i ever be content? will i ever be satisfied? will i ever be truly happy? i don't think i'll ever know but i do hope that i will, so that i can avoid the possibility of just settling.

so i guess i'll just sit here now, with a glass of fine cognac on the rocks, and wonder who am i supposed to be as i stare into the night sky.

hearts 01:39:00
0 spoken words