walking contradiction

25 years old.
a girl of irony.
studying in university of new south wales - ba/llb.
living and let live.
truly blessed by His and his love.

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Saturday, November 29, 2008

as the news of our first local victim of terrorism sink in, my thoughts fluttered back to the grief i felt on the night of 1st july 2006. it feels so distant yet my heart ached as the memories replayed itself.

i can only scarcely imagine the trauma that her family and her friends are facing now, the disbelief that a dear friend, whose visit to that very city - mumbai - was meant to be brief and for work purposes, is suddenly no longer physically present on this very Earth, due to the works of individuals who falsely believed that they are doing it in the name of their God.

though many lives had been lost in this war against terrorism, it had never hit home so close before. when lives were taken, i had questioned if Singapore will be safe with its diplomatic ties with US and UK and how we're positioned in a region where it has been reported to be housing and grooming terrorists, who claimed to be ridding infidels from the face of this Earth.

at this current point in time, i questioned, as well, my belief and faith. what good is a God if He allowed for all these atrocities of mankind to exist, leaving us with nothing to really hold on to, except for faith? how long can this 'faith' last before we begin to question the very God we had prayed to for forgiveness when we sinned and/or for strength to face the issues at hand? how is it that these individuals, who claimed to be God's soldiers, can live with themselves in such great belief that deaths of the innocents are approved by Him? what has the world turned into?

i question the motives of the terrorists. what is it they are after exactly? money? glory? fame? what are they exactly after? don't tell me that it's about doing what's right by the Quran, Bible or what not. please, spare me the fucking bullshit cos as much as i'm a Christian with little faith, i believe that these holy books never taught anything of violence to be enacted upon the disbelievers. if anything, love was educated.

my anger and my fear for the world's future are slowly convincing me that future generations should be spared from these atrocities. i've never entertained the idea of having children of my own only till recently, when i thought that that is essential in the completion of the family nucleus. now, i think that is bullshit. no way in this fucking world am i bringing in another human being, created out of love and faith, to be subjected to the screwed up mindset of this world. humans are truly the greatest beast on this very Earth, for the very fact that they reason and justify their very actions against humanity, claiming it to be righteous.

as i ponder upon Ms. Lo Hwei Yen's death, i wonder if anything more could have been done to save this piece of shit that all governments and humans had a part to play in. i wonder how many more lives will be lost before each and every one of us wakes up and realise that these religious bullshits are tearing us apart so much that maybe, we need a universal lesson on LOVE and placing that as the fundamental religion of all mankind to save us from ourselves.

note: to Ms. Lo Hwei Yen's family and friends, words cannot express the shock most of us, Singaporeans, are in since news broke out of her death. similarly, no words can ever be able to sooth your tiresome and weary souls as you begin to walk through your life's journey with a gapping hole. stay strong.

hearts 17:55:00
0 spoken words

Friday, November 28, 2008

I FUCKING PASS MY PAPERS! IT'S FUCK THE UNIVERSITY FOR NOW! WOOT!

hearts 00:20:00
0 spoken words

Saturday, November 08, 2008

all about meme.
People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

Tag five people to do this quiz; those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who tagged them and are disallowed from tagging the person by whom they were tagged.

Do you have secrets?

duh.

Would you fall in love with a younger male/female?

why not? 

Do you enjoy going to school?

if it's not in the morning.

What would you do with a billion dollars?

pay my parents back and then pay for the younger ones' education.

Would you love your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend again?

if i was able to love them at one point, if the magic is still there, why not?

Which is more blessed - loving or being loved?

no discrimination there.

List out your 15 favourite songs.
ABBA - winner takes it all
faith hill - paris
faith hill - fireflies
connie talbot - i will always love you
parachute band - complete

i don't have that much time on my hand to remember what's my favorite honestly. 15 is a little too much.

If you are single and your crush is attached, what would you do?

be myself. attached or not, it's up to him to decide and all's fair in the game.

Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
yep.

What makes you angry?
seek and ye shall find but if what's found is not what you want, shut up and grow up.

How would you see yourself in 10 years?

living, not surviving.

Currently, who are the most important people to you?

family, laydees, nelson and some others. 

What is the most important thing in life?

faith

Are you single or attached?
attached

What is your favourite colour?

white

Would you give all in a relationship?

not all, enough to maintain it as a balanced relationship

What would be the first thing you say/shout when you reach the peak of Mount Everest?

so what do i do now? 

What are you doing now?

basking in tranquility.

Do you prefer coffee or chocolate drinks?

coffee

Tag five people.

i've just tagged 3 and i think that's enough tagging for now. do it if you wish.

hearts 17:10:00
0 spoken words





this is my 1,500th post and the only thing i really wanted to talk about is change.

we all know that change is an essential part of EVERY individual's life so get a life and accept it. most importantly, when something freaking huge happens in any individual's life, you WILL expect a change, so wake up and accept it.

there have been peeps around me who felt that things have changed with me and tried to keep things in status quo, only to kill themselves over what they wanted that is not realistic. peeps change so please learn to accept it.

after everything that has happened, whether is it on any of our sides, grow up and learn to accept the facts that things WILL change, be it for the better or worse.

nobody likes change but accept it.
it's part of nature.

hearts 17:00:00
0 spoken words

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. badgal^_^
2. inkette
3. lalachrist/lala

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my ass.
2. eyes.
3. a face that has no need for make-up. saves me tons!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my skin can be very dry, causing me tons. :(
2. small boobs.
3. big tummy. 'nuff said.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. hainanese
2. hokkien
3. apparently, mongolian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. horror/gruesome shows.
2. the fact that motherfuckers, like those self-righteous extremists who call themselves the most righteous in the name of Islam, still exist in this world.
3. losing peeps i love, which is why my love is limited, cos i've been wounded enough.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. mobile
2. eftpos/atm/debit card and cash(whichever you call it in your country).
3. probably my ipod nano now. :D

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
1. ripcurl black jacket.
2. denim shorts.
3. blue t-shirt that came with my aussino bedsheets!

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. damien leith
2. chen zhi ming (my boyfriend la.)
3. probably still juliana theory even though they are no longer in service.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
1. connie talbot's smile
2. mariah carey's never forget you
3. parachute band's complete

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. love
2. trust
3. common goals - God, happiness, etc. 

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. bad boy - the near impossibility of getting him to stay by your side makes it, oh so challenging.
2. i've always been into lanky guys.
3. they are just plain gorgeous in their own right.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. sleeping
2. swimming
3. being alone.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. go to sleep.
2. go back to singapore.
3. using the remote in Click and fast forward it to my retirement age.

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
1. thespian/working in the theatres.
2. lawyer.
3. still, forensic pathologist.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. russia
2. switzerland
3. greece

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. say 'finally'.
2. kill those motherfuckers.
3. i don't know what's the rest yet but i know i wanna be able to say 'been there done that'.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. i freak at my fats.
2. i still care about hygiene.
3. i still remember that i have to put on a bra.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE NOT STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. i am seriously defective in my emotions.
2. do not know how to put on make up, which is a good thing, cos those things are expensive. i have better things to buy.
3. i confront and take charge, not run like some wuss.

THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
- zhongying
- ingrid
- mabel

hearts 17:41:00
0 spoken words


Rape victim, 13, stoned to death in stadium 

AN ISLAMIST rebel administration in Somalia ordered that a girl, 13, be stoned to death for adultery after the child's father reported that she was raped by three men.

Amnesty International said the al-Shabab militia, which controls the city of Kismayo, arranged for 50 men to stone Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow in front of about 1000 spectators. A truck laden with stones was brought to the stadium for the killing. Amnesty said the girl struggled with her captors and had to be forcibly carried into the stadium. Amnesty said: "Inside the stadium, militia members opened fire when some of the witnesses to the killing attempted to save her life, and shot dead a boy who was a bystander."

The girl's father told Amnesty that when he tried to report her rape to the militia the child was accused by the administration of adultery and detained.

None of the men accused of the rape was arrested. The girl was earlier reported by witnesses as being 23 years old.


i really wish i own a machine gun and just fire at these mother-fuckers till they are completely destroyed and that they can't be recognised by ANY SINGLE PERSON.

in fact, it'll be great if i can tie each of these mother-fuckers' limbs onto a horse each and just let them pull them apart! they deserve the most gruesome death.

hearts 17:34:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, November 02, 2008

'The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up.'

- John Maxwell

hearts 12:53:00
0 spoken words