walking contradiction

25 years old.
a girl of irony.
studying in university of new south wales - ba/llb.
living and let live.
truly blessed by His and his love.

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time constrained


another dimension

partners in crime
benje. carol. crystal. daniel ho. davina. doreen. evelyn. ingrid. iniQx. jac. jess. julian. karen. kimberly. leon. li en. mabel. melissa. nick. shirley. stefan. xiaowei. yee huat. yusuf. zhong ying.


communication channels
christian forum. keeptouch forum. heartlight. save our tree e-magazine. yesterday .sg. good morning yesterday. riverlife. 陳志明.
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. feelings and thoughts .

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many bows
pictures: one
brushes: one two
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designer: sweet_surrender
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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

as i was reading another blog, i saw this note that struck me.
will it come to that on that day or would it have been resolved?

as i lie in bed in the night,
i hear voices of the past,
telling me the past,
the present and the future.

as i lie in bed in the night,
i could hear my heart beating,
beating for the certainties,
uncertainties and all.

as i lie in bed in the night,
i wished a million times,
that you were here to guide me,
not up there with the other angels.

hearts 14:08:00
0 spoken words


on this day i mourn for the very wit this person possessed.
on this day i mourn for the very man i believe could awaken the nation's apathy.
on this day i shall remain silent for a minute or more,

for the man named JBJ who had awaken my political awareness.

RIP.

hearts 14:05:00
0 spoken words

Friday, September 26, 2008

work work work and more work.
since my man left, i've been doing nothing but work. of course, i played here and there but for most part, i've just been thinking about law and theatre.

it does not help that what's meant to be a break (which is the coming week) has turned out to be worse than a school week for me. :( my only break from this semester will come at the end of it, when i fly back into the arms of my man, my family and my laydees. some have commented that there is a sore lack of activity on my blog and i would like to explain why.

this is how my semester was and is going to be like.

  • week 2: performance and logbook for workshop exercise.
  • week 3: performance and logbook (again) for workshop exercise and reading summary for live art and physical theatre.
  • week 4: performance and logbook (yes. again) for workshop exercise.
  • week 5: performance and logbook (i know. again. they are all different performances that i have to think up separately by the way) for workshop exercise.
  • week 6: performance and logbook (i believe you got the idea) for workshop exercise.
  • week 7: performance and logbook (when will it end right?) working on my criminal law 2 assignment.
  • week 8: logbook and further analysis of my performance for the actual days, handing in my criminal law assignment and starting on my contracts 2 assignment.
  • week 9: handing in of my contracts 2 assignment and researching for live art essay.
  • week 10: rehearsals and logbook for workshop exercise, researching and writing for live art essay and working on live art group project.
  • week 11: handing in of live art essay, final touches and presentation on live art group project, actual day performances and logbook entries for workshop exercise lasting for 4 days in that week.
  • week 12: finishing up logbook and writing my reflection analysis on workshop exercise and starting my revision for my exams.
  • until the end of semester: STUDY FOR MY DAMN FREAKING EXAMS!
so yes, i believe you get the gist of why i'm hardly available. even now that i'm typing this, i'm searching for articles on pina bausch and DV8. i'll be really lucky to get out of this semester unscathed.

God, have mercy on my soul.

hearts 01:11:00
0 spoken words

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

i've kept a secret to myself for almost 2 weeks now.
a secret that i relish in joy and sorrow once in a while.

i dreamt of buddy shortly after my 23rd birthday.
the week that i was supposed to present my performance on "letting go", he was there in my dream, explaining to me and convincing me that it was really not my fault.

i woke up crying, snuggled up against my man.
he asked me what happened and all i could say was this,

i'm finally free.

hearts 02:38:00
0 spoken words

Saturday, September 13, 2008

you brought me back to life in theatre.
yet, drained me in life.

hearts 02:04:00
0 spoken words

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

for my birthday this year, i received:
  1. sexy black la senza lingerie set from my darling laydees. love it! thanks babes! :D
  2. a sailor role-play outfit from the twins and guys. thanks loads!
  3. a bot of chardonnay from tanja. enjoyed it! :D
  4. a bot of chambord from khee, wilson and carrie. i haven't taken it out from the box. it looks to gorgeous! :D
  5. a gossip little miss chatterbox tee plus tulips and irises (i must be really smashed that day to forget them!) from dav and ladies. fitted me real well! :D
  6. nintendo ds lite from my love. the one gadget that is now close by my side, day and night! :D thanks baby!
  7. my mum's angbao $$ which i used to buy toiletries. thanks mum!
  8. angbao from my love's parents which i have not been able to fully utilise yet but i will soon! thanks!
  9. lovely dress from my sis which arrived like 4 months prior to my birthday. THANKS AH! (she complained that i forgot to name it out. lol)
and now that my birthday is OVER for more than a week, i must now say...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!!

sometimes i do get scared
but i know that i'm safe.
thank you for everything.
love you my darling man.

hearts 23:36:00
0 spoken words

Sunday, September 07, 2008

you're on your flight back and i'm back here, alone in my room.

take care, my love.
i'll see you in 2 months' time.

it's just getting harder to say goodbye.
struggling to just swallow it back
but reality sinks and it just flows.

i love you, baby, and i can't wait for us to start on our lives together soon. :)

hearts 19:06:00
0 spoken words